I'm drive I can fine osifer
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
