I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
