at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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