I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
A+ Viking dick
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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