I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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