honey bunches of taint.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
