Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
