If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
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