dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I did not marry a roomba.
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