I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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