I puked a lego.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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