weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
