that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Randomize