he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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