god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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