my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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