i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize