Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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