how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
She needs sedatives and a leash
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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