My cat gives me a boner
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize