You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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