did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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