he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
