My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
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