Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Randomize
