Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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