two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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