Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
