dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
