so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
