I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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