I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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