Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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