sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Randomize
