Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize