We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
