I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
