I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
