You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize