I swear she didn't look like that last week.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
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You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
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