He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
