I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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