Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Randomize
