To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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