I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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