Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
