I feel like I'm in dance class right now
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Randomize
