I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
