PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize