some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
