no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Randomize
