Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize