Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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