we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
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