the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
