I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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