I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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