Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
from now on my penis is your penis
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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