i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
