It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
