Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
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I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
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I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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