I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize