she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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