We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
